Ahh guys.

It's yet another day that have passed and here I am again
sitting at the underpass, alone.

Well, wasn't really alone just now.
Had been doing Biz Mgmt Presentation Slides with Yew Choong..

So he went off to take his lunch first.
He's a good guy, ask me whether i wanna buy anything or not.
Lucky get this type of people as partner, and not like those hard to talk to people. XD
And Leslie (he's the BMGT rep) came later to meet up with YC to go to NP@45.

Yeah I am so not going. XD

Sooo way before that, once i settled myself at the underpass,
I talked to Kodai-kun who was like quite free to have a little chat.
Soooo, we tried talking but well...i guess MSN talk is not so good.

So I downloaded skype and WOW, the sound quality is really awesome!
It's funny, talking in both English and Japanese...
and he doesnt really understand singapore accent like canadian accent. (so different, yes i know)

sooo kinda had a hard time in the middle of it
i dont understand him, he dont understand me. LOL

HAHA! He laughed alot when I told him my reason for not having BF or anything.
Yeahhhh my point of view and all.
Mendou Kusai!
Well he was really impressed that I can speak alot of languages
eventhough it's just a little bit of everything XD
He says that he is ashamed to face his Japanese friend who is coming to visit him tomorrow because.....
his hair is damn short. XD

He said that he tried crew cut for the first time and he really wants to grow his hair back again.
Doesnt seem to suit him....so funny...laughed alot cos of our ability to understand what each other is talking about.

Once he doesnt know what im talking about in english, i translate to japanese.

Wonder if my other friends in Japan have skype...
I'll ask Hiroki later on if i see him online.

Til then, i shall leave the comfort of being at the underpass to get ready to be sardined in the bus. 4.29 pm now.

Ja ne.

A little bit more preoccupied with school these days that I can’t seem to find time to set aside for my VK collections.

Nevertheless, I’m still like into VK and right now I’m listening to アリス九の歌「Cosmic World」and mannnn I feel so happy with being able to get VK into my soul again (after mixing too much with people who doesn’t seem to like them and are always screaming their heads off at J.E bands…*shakes head*)

Well, work seem to be coming to me without me asking for it, lol.

During FFA, each group had to present their answers with their laptop in front (yeah, naturally cos I know this tutor, she was my INFA tutor last sem). My group members were myself, J, Zaid and Jia Chun (yesss the ex TA02 people with me, the sole TA01). And it’s like wth, cos I was the only one in the group who did my answers in the laptop…so they laughed at me cos it’s like so obvious who’s the one who have to go in front. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

So, J helped me to set up my laptop (yeah, what do you expect from an IT idiot like myself? XD) and I sat at the teacher’s chair and told the class how we got to the answer. Ahhh, I got bombarded with questions from Ms Tan but nvm, cos I understand the topic and I could answer without making it look hard for me (of course, it’s a downright lie and I was actually quite nervous that my answer would be wrong and I’d be making a fool of myself in front of the class)…ahhh luckily it’s quite right. ^^ Happy desu!

Then yesterday I had DSS tutorial in the morning. Ahhh it was raining!! And it’s like so stupid la..people in the bus don’t wanna move in and I had to stand in the rain while waiting for them to move in…shoot. I hate it cos on a cold day, wet clothes doesn’t dry well.

Yuck, lols.

Then luckily there was still room and I had to stand at the stairs near the entrance. If not, I guess I’d be so damn late for class, I’d probably be marked absent instead of late. So went to class and had to sit with my group (yeah, J and Zaid are my group members)…went online awhile since the class haven’t started since teacher waiting for people to come.

Ah! Kodai-kun was online! ^^ Called him “Kodai-kun!!” and lols, he replied “Yes ma’am!!”. Hahaha! Miss the time when I could talk to him for longer hours….he’s very busy these days. I haven’t been talking to Hiroki as well…we don’t seem to be online at the same time recently.

Oh, and we had to decide on who’s the group leader for our group so we used Jan Ken Pon to decide. First round, all same so tried another round. Second round….shoot…I was the odd one out. So yeah people, the IT idiot is the group leader for an IT-based subject. Zzzzzzzz….I’m so dead, man….

Oh yeah, there’s this guy in my class..i think I recognize him from one of the spiderman groups. He looks like the more polished Jeremy. Yeah, Jeremy that Mohawk guy…he’s like so cool these days (he was in front of me at the stop waiting for bus home)…This guy sat in front of me for DSS workshop. His face really reminds me of Jeremy! LOL! I don’t think they’re related though..hahahah!!

Oh and I talked to Kodai again like hours later at home. I changed my PM and he was like “OOOOH! Are you Yuuka?” HAHA! He still wants to talk to me, probably he wants more inspiration for speaking more English since he says he’s very greatful that I am able to understand what’s he trying to say even with his weak English. Ganbatte my friend!! ^^ Don’t give up!! And I won’t give up with Japanese language too! So we are even, OK! ^_^

Talked to Midnight Friend, Clar. Oooops, I got him high on VK yesterday night after claiming I LOVE Nao’s brows. Yeah!! So we made it general that thin brows are COOL!!! So he intro me to his current fave bands and hehehe!! He was so high on VK that time that he claimed he found a new band and was like so into finding more bands (yes folks, it was really during the inhumane hours that we got crazy about VK…around 3-4plus am).

Then I was like so crazy and kept on ranting about VK hairstyles and about who is the best VK. And lols, I laughed at him when he said he wanted to do SOMETHING (not saying what! Lols!!) to his hair and I think he abit PS after that. Hehehehe! Very funny, LOL! Watched Gazette’s PVs and ahhh you know what?! I’m an Alice Nine freak….AGAIN! lols! It’s been a while since I caught up with Alice Nine and this time, I’m like sooo into them again, HAHAHA!!

Currently, im looking like some zombie who just came back to life. Yup, with my pale face and eyeliner that I tried to get rid off but is still on (I’d probably need some sort of dish washing sponge to get rid of it! HAHAHHA! LOLsss…Okayyy…gonna start on Law and econs after that…so tiring. zzzzz

P.S: Some people are just too hard to understand. Alter ego fighting for a come-back.

I don’t really get it.
What’s wrong with Jrock, VK and Oshare Kei?

My mates from cultural division 「文化」in NP’s日本人翼クラブseem to think that people who like to listen to these type of songs and are like interested in cosplay are kinda like people who are like…totally a different category.

Kinda make me feel that if I wasn’t like who I am (torn in between Jpop and Jrock), they wouldn’t wanna mix with me or something.

Yeah, there’s this trend that I noticed from long ago that the people from the cultural division doesn’t listen to Japanese subculture songs like Jrock, VK and Oshare Kei. They listen to those “always-seem-to-be-happy” type of Jpop songs. If you were to ask them about gazette or alice nine…they would have no idea what you are spouting. LOL.

Oh yeah, they fangirl A LOT! I fangirl too, I must admit. But not until that extent to scream so loudly in the canteen and attract stares from people. Yeah, that’s what happened earlier this week. 2 mates were fangirling so much, people stared a lot at them. And I feel kinda weird sitting in between the giggling girls…kinda out of place, you see.

I was like just watching some PVs too but I wasn’t like screaming til that extent! Then I switched to Jrock…the gazette’s song, SGD. To me, the PV itself is cool but to them who saw what I was watching …. They were kinda like bored to death. LOL!! They just don’t know how to appreciate good bands like gazette.

The cosplay division, on the other hand, listen to a lot of subculture songs. Everytime you step in the classroom where we have meetings, there’ll always be people headbanging to some totally Jrock songs.

The thing is, I really feel that I belong more to the cosplay division of my club. However, due to certain circumstances I can’t reveal even in my blog here, I can’t continue with cosplay any longer. Really…I think my friends really have a bad impression of me, dropping out at the last minute. Guys, I’m really sorry. Even if I try to make it sound like it’s nothing and I’ve lost interest in cosplay…the fact is, I’m lying to myself and to everyone else.

I’ve never lost interest in it.

I’ve been so into it for quite long time, why would I suddenly just stop? Now a lot of my friends who are expecting to see me around in cosplay events or accompany the to-be cosplayers who happen to be my friends will have the impression that I’m totally a double crosser of some sort. Yes. People like dear Kai, who is expecting me to support the band at events they’re having gigs at..my crazy group of friends from café like Clar, Kaka, Ozora, Ginchy, JJP, shunpo (eeeee~!~!! so cute!! Lols..) and a lot more. Probably now Elston is thinking that I ditched Sulas about her cosplay program. Lol….so many people involved here. Well, on the plus side, my parents are happy that I’m not going to these events any longer. That’s something to be happy about although I’d really wanna go if I had the chance, lol.

If you guys wanna know the real life of mine, look closely at my URL. Forever Fornever. Yeah. Doesn’t really make much sense, especially the fornever (since its not in the dictionary, lol). Nothing in my life is forever. Ever since young, I’ve been facing so many things ALONE. Yes, now I’m alone again. Alone as in, as everyone proceed with what they like to do most..I, on the other hand, have to drop them and be like the black sheep. Too many sacrifices in my life. Sometimes I do feel like breaking down (especially when it involved separating myself from friends…drawing a line between us). Not that I’m demanding to stay on with them or something…it’s just that once we’re close, we’ve got that certain bond (even if it is only for a few hours..we can get along really well already). I miss a lot of people. I’m putting a mask on. In front of people, I say I miss people for a while, then like a few hours or probably a day later, I’ll be like really hyper or something.

That’s the fake me.

It’s just that you guys can’t see that I’m wearing a mask. It’s only visible to myself, and I think if I die, it be probably due to heart problems. I keep too many things in me. Haha. When I share with someone, take Clar for example…he’s a really good friend but I still don’t tell him everything. Just a part of it. I can talk to him about family because he understands it (from what I can see, lol) but I can’t share about family to people who only try to calm me down but don’t understand. *sigh* And yet, I’m mean to him sometimes. Sorry buddy! XD

Ok for the part why I have got a lot to sacrifice. Well, it’s because I’m like that. Lol. Yeah, it’s true. It’s basically like the concept of opportunity cost (you’d understand that term if you studied economics). The next best alternative is forgone. Yeah, so it’s totally like what someone always remind me when I’m slacking or something “You’ve only got 100% for everything, once you put more priority on other things than study, your concentration and ability to focus decrease tremendously”. I agree with that. That’s what I always have in mind.

Everything is under 100%.

It’s the way I organize myself that makes a huge difference. So, now I’d prefer to call ‘sacrifice’ opportunity cost. If I want to succeed in education and get a high-pay job (yeahh for my qualification now..not much, $9 per hour) and be respected for being a knowledgable person in studies than in entertainment, I’d better scrap off what I like to do. What I have to do is much MORE important than what I like to do. Seeing that a lot of my friends are kinda left out in this, I must progress further and further til I reach the peak where I’m stable enough to maintain everything by myself.

Right now, what’s left of entertainment is Japanese cultural (club and fests).

I might probably have to get rid of that if it distracts me too much. It’s unavoidable. I’m alone, so I have to be able to manage things well. Other people have siblings or relatives to turn to. In this world, the only people I can really turn to is my parents. 2 very important people. Yes, I’ve no siblings and my relatives hate us for being who we are and being different from them. Friends? Let’s see…Malay (or rather, muslim) friends will flip and hate me if they know the real thing about me. Chinese friends are OK but once they have their own responsibilities or commitments, the relationship tend to fall apart. Others (Japanese ect)…they are nice people but it’s hard cos well, Japan is very far from Singapore afterall! LOL. People like Ryo, he can really be a good friend but its sad because he is Japan. ｢悲｣ and was in Singapore only a short while. Hiroki-senpai is like totally not coming back to Singapore and will only come back occasionally. Oh well… lol.

Once I finish my course of study in poly and get a diploma, I am always told by a lot of people (lecturers, tutors, parents) that I can already hold an executive or management position at workplace because of my course and I believe it is quite true, seeing that my modules are very special for some reason XD. Yeah, while the other students work in groups and do presentations as a group and oh yeah! Wth! They can look at screen and they can even have script with them!! For us, our presentations are individual and well, it is our exam! LOL!! Yeah, we use laptop for exams like DSS and we have to dress up for presentations like we’re really gonna persuade investors to invest in our companies, ect. Yup! We also have modules that sound so posh like Business Etiqutte (like how to dine with refined poise and elegance during business lunch), handy modules such as Economics (our econs are separated in the 2 semesters so as not to cram everything in one sem) and Business Law, where we study both criminal and civil law (we focus more on civil law though) like the breach of contract/trust, tort of negligence and we learn the various courts like the different subordinate courts, high courts and supreme court.

Ok Ok, I shall end here for now.

If not, I’m never starting on my accounts tutorial on internal control. Soooo, that’s all for today… a rainy day, lol.

It’s really very sad to know that separation always happens, even if one doesn’t want to let go.

Yeah, it’s the sad atmosphere in here for now.

I really missed the Sapporo students especially those who I’m more comfortable with. Yes, people like Ryo, who was seated next to me when we first met,…people like Nobu, who at first glance looks so leader-like and like tsubasa when he was younger,…Yuki, the first one I talked personally to and also Ikumi, who seem kinda lonely but is a sweet.

Omiyage exchange worked out pretty well.

Ryo is so cute, always shaking hands and shouting OK…amusing guy who gets amused easily.
Nobu is funny despite his disciplined face….he loves the camera.
Yuki is a kame fan. She is kinda cute when she wear her specs XD
Ikumi is very friendly…she is a sweet girl. Haha! ^^
Yuuki is quite OK with English….he is very helpful.

Well, shall upload pictures and videos (if possible) soon.

In the mean time, I want to strangle Clar for sending me a sad song to PURPOSELY make me more depressed, lols. Haha!

I won’t forget Friday. 本当に楽しいかった～！

I will never ever forget (names starting from the ones I talk personally first): Kudo Yuki, Chiba Konatsu, Masui Ryo, Amane, Ikumi, Nobu, Yuuki Hoshi, Kazuki, Ito. And of course the shoujous who I talk to but not from my group sooo I don’t know their names…and also the cool shounens who waved to us so enthusiastically eventhough we weren’t from the same group.

I will miss you guys LOTS! Especially the shounen group who was with us the whole time at Orchard Road.

The names in bold are the ones I talk alot with XD

Ahhhh!!
2 more days!! *glances at the time*

Ok, it’s 1 more day!! LOL! It’s already midnight! Haha!!

It’s like 1 more day and I’m like so stressed out because I haven’t been finding time for myself to polish my Japanese conversational skills!!
Yeah, I’ve been delaying and delaying anddddd delaying too much!
That’s one problem (so how on earth am I gonna speak or explain things to them huh?? XD)

The second problem.
I haven’t bought any omiyage AKA souvenirs!!!
SHOOT!!
It’s like so typical of us….from what I heard, none of my JTC mates who’re in this have purchased any thing for them at all! HAHA! Lols…

So, I plan to go to harbour front tomorrow, after school (I think I’m going for a detour around Queensway first! XD) and look for omiyage!!
I can’t think of what to give them!! T_T
What should I give them?? It’s like kinda stupid and lame to give keychains with big letters ‘SINGAPORE’ on it….but wth, I really dunno what to get them, so I’m getting them that! XDDDDD

Third problem.
Orchard Road is like uber boring when you are to compare it with Japan’s vast shopping districts….
And of all the places (I was hoping like Clarke Quay, so we can stare at the pathetic man made river, LOL!!! HAHAHAH!), we’re bringing them around ORCHARD ROAD. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I guess my pockets are gonna burn a hole this week.
I already spent like uhhhh…..$70+ on a meal at Swensens like uhh, the day before yesterday.
I can predict that I’ll be spending more than $200 this week alone. T_T
Such a sad story huh? HAHA!
There goes my salary……T_T Flown away in just a few days…..zzzzzzzzz

こんばんは！
お久しぶり～～＾＾

みんな元気？

Today is the first day of Semester 2 in school. Haha!
So, only had a 2 hour lecture in school….yeah…first day and I had FFA. Zzzzzz

It was pouring so heavily that I had to roll up my jeans and run (lucky I didn’t slip! Hohoho!)

So, the people who I know are gonna be my new classmates: JunJie (J) and Zaid.

My 02 friends all split! T_T I’m like so not in the same class as them any longer like last time, 01 and 02. Siao Yun very funny la…grinning at me just now. Haha! I still remember…I owe her the full story on the haunted hospital. XD

So tomorrow gonna be having another 2 hour lecture …. MAEC. They just cant seem to stop giving us economics, huh? Hopefully la I can get macro in my head after micro. HAHA! Law is something new but I hope I can do it…..so I can beat Shige. HAHA! Yup yup, shigeaki kato. So, for now…you can say I’m like into YamaPi’s line…yup, he’s in business course but he’s already graduated now. XD

uhh I don’t really know what to say now, haha!

Oh yeah, the sapporo students are coming this Friday! I’m really getting nervous because I haven’t polished my Japanese since dunno when. Kodai-kun told me not to be nervous but go and have fun talking to them even if my Japanese is broken. Hahaha! Hiroki-kun wanted to start a convo that time but lols, I went off. HAHAHA! So funny la….

Haha. Shunpo is lucky la…I so envy him!! T_T he learns Chinese, malay and French ..he knows a little Japanese too. Grrr…haha! His twin!!! Yagi!! Mannn....yagi’s complexion is so baby-like!! *envy* ahhaha!

Ok Ok, so I dunno what else to say….sooooo….this’s all for now! XD

★優花水井
☆専門学生
★日本翼クラブ「先輩」
☆（平成３年）９月１０日に生まれた
★女性

★♥家族
☆♥自分自信
★♥友達
☆♥日本と韓国とフランスと英国とタイ国の音楽が好き
★♥外国人を会う
☆♥ケイタイ
★♥ドラマ,アニメ、映画
☆♥ジャ二―ズ
★♥言語
☆♥月と星
★♥春、秋、冬「雪」

☆世界中を旅行したい！
★DIPLOMA WITH MERITそして、BBA（HONS）IN　BUSINESS＆ACCOUNTANCY/LAW
☆もっと上手になる！
★藪宏太！「笑」
☆ホテルの社長と翻訳者になりたい（６STAR）
★億万長者になりたい（笑）
☆ちゃんとした人間になる！！

Angie
Iffah
Jesse Xiao Yu
Jia Xin
JunJie (J)
Jun-kun, Shota-kun and Koji
Joyce
Jyeon Min-ssi
Kakoii-sensei
Lyon
Maiyu-chan
Nosuke
ponomam
Ryuko
Sally
Siok Yin
Steffi
Xin Lei
Yvonne ACC zss

Aozakie?!!
Evander
Ex14 Joel
Ila Kohled
Kaka NUT
Minoru
Mizi
Shinn
Shizuka
Takoyaki
Tohru
Wayne
Yuchi-honey
Yuji-kun
YukiMizayaki
Yusifer
Yuuki-kun